Everybody hurts...

Yesterday, Arsenal lost. That’s nothing new. As you know from my post back in early December entitled ‘A little bit over the top’, I wear my heart on my sleeve when it comes to football so I’m miserable when my beloved team. I said that the defeat to Bradford was the end of the season and that Wenger should step down in the summer. But, after my away day at Brighton, which we won 3-2, I came away with a special feeling that the 2013 FA Cup was ours. If you still don’t understand how desperate I was to win this competition, here is my ‘Final Word’, which I sent to the programme editor but wasn’t used:

“We are all aware that the 2005 FA cup is the last piece of silverware our great club has won so why do people, namely those in the media or opposition supporters, feel the need to remind us. I know it seems funny to others but it is a fact that eats away at me on a daily basis. I just want this suffering to end.

I was only 12 when Patrick lifted that cup after a nail-biting victory on penalties 8 years ago. I didn’t get tickets to Cardiff but managed to convince my mum to throw a party around our house and invited all my friends. I was so happy, gloating in front of some of my non-Arsenal supporting friends but little did I know that feeling of utter contentment would never be replaced. I am 20 at the end of this year so I’ve never seen Arsenal win a trophy in my teenage years. They say being a teenager is the best days of your life but mine hasn’t been because I can never be happy if Arsenal isn’t winning.

I want the players putting on our famous Red and White strip to read this before kick-off today. Just like us fans do. So they can get inside our head’s and begin to feel the emotions of a true fan. The obvious difference is the future is in their hands and they can change our fortunes on the pitch. I’ll be sitting in the North Bank trying to suck the ball into Blackburn’s goal but, at the end of the day, I am a helpless passenger just like every other fan.

The reason I’m writing this before this Fifth Round tie is because we are so close. The FA Cup has a special place in all football fans hearts and none more so than Arsenal fans. The actual trophy may be seen as not that important compared to the Champions League but believe me, it is still the Cup of Dreams. But, that’s the thing. The dream can become a reality. To put it in black and white terms, only four games stand between us and glory.

There was a time not long ago when Wembley was our second home. Cup final after cup final. The famous old Arsenal was synonymous with the Twin Towers. Even our Champions League matches were held there. The awful PA system aside, I want a return to those days. Let’s make the Arch the new symbol of our club and take ownership of Wembley Way. Surely that’s not too much to ask.

I'll leave you with this story to ponder (some of you may have heard it). It was a sunny day in the merry month of May. I met a lady with a yellow ribbon tied in her hair. I asked her “why do you wear that ribbon”. Without thinking, she replied “I wear it for the Arsenal and we’re going to Wembley”…

The players will never know the pain I’m in. I look normal on the outside but the lack of success is eating away at me. Wenger’s had time to change but that’s it, he has to go.  I sat there just staring at the pitch last night, as my mind was completely empty. I wish I could stop supporting Arsenal with so much vigour. I fear for my sanity if this carries on.

People, including some Arsenal fans, will tell me to stop being so melodramatic, it is only a game and to get over it because there are more important things. No, Arsenal is my life and only those who feel the same can empathise.

Don’t worry; I’ll still be blogging every day even when the pain intensifies on Tuesday.

Bye for now!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ijZRCIrTgQc Cue the tears!