At times, I can be so heartless. Everyone will not believe that statement because in public, I seem to give off this angelic persona with my butter wouldn’t melt smile. However, I can be quite horrible at times and have an evil tongue. I don’t mean any of the spiteful words that leave my mouth (apart from the one’s directed at Ashley Cole) but I can’t stop myself. They just slip out. Perhaps it’s a coping mechanism. I realise it sounds like a weak excuse for me being a nasty ‘Wheelchair Boy’ but I do bottle up a lot of feelings/anxieties regarding my condition.
I just wanted to explain myself and clarify that anything I say shouldn’t be taken personally. I love everyone that is close to me but I rarely show it. That’s just me putting on my tough exterior. I am soft at heart but I never open up (I should probably work on that).
Steve Evans, who I posted about on a few occasions last year, sadly lost his battle with stomach Cancer on Wednesday 15th January. He spoke to me once about the importance of family and those around you. I wholeheartedly agreed because without their support, my life would simply not be able to go on. Just because I don’t show it, I appreciate what they do and will always love them.
I just hope that these words are taken on-board by my nearest and dearest, rather than the meaningless bile that I spit out. Ignore what I say in the heat of the moment. This blog comes from my heart whereas all the hate and anger originates from an evil monster in my body named Friedreich’s Ataxia.
Bye for now!