This blog can be of great comfort to ‘Wheelchair Boy’ sometimes because when life gets on top of me (as it has been for the past few days), I can vent my anger at the world by using words. Some people find opening up to someone and speaking aloud their inner thoughts helps to make them feel better. Others can only release anger through fits of violence. Then there are people like me who bottle up their problems, which I’ve grown to realise, is not healthy at all. That’s why I occasionally go off on a slight rant, today being no different.
You know me by now, I’m not one to be getting the violin out and licking my own wounds. Nor do I want sympathy. There are just days when I think the whole world (apart from my family) is conspiring against me. It seems like the people in power, whether that be the local council or private businesses, have already decided my destiny because I am disabled. I constantly get the impression that I should just stay in my family home and not integrate with society until I finally die. That’s what those in charge want, right?
Take my on-going battle with St. Albans District Council to get a bungalow/flat for me to move out into. My whole family have took it in turns to speak with those in the housing department and outline that the provisions for disabled people is wholly unacceptable but do you think they have listened? NO, don’t be silly. On Friday, they called and told my mum they had a place to offer me but it was not suitable for a wheelchair eventhough it has just been built. No wonder I feel helpless and get the vibe that no one wants me to move out ever.
Another thing stressing me out big time is my car. I am deteriorating on a daily basis so transfers are becoming increasingly difficult and unsafe. Therefore, I have decided to try and get a new vehicle with a ramp so that I don’t have to get out of the wheelchair. However, I cannot go back to having a big van like before because I hated that in the end, What with my hearing problems, I used to feel so isolated and cut off at the back. Ideally, I want to sit up the front again but the price for that is ridiculous. Again, it just seems that everything in my life is made that extra bit difficult.
I know that it seems like I’m being a tad overdramatic and have this strange complex that the world is against me but all I’m asking is that you get in my shoes. Assess the evidence and perhaps you’ll all realise that I’m right. Those at the top don’t want ‘Wheelchair Boy’ in society but tough luck, I am here and I’m not going to be quiet. Watch out Westminster Lodge; you’re next on my list!
Don’t worry though people. I feel much better and less stressed now I’ve got my issues off my chest.
Bye for now!