At times, I can be so heartless. Everyone will not believe
that statement because in public, I seem to give off this angelic persona with
my butter wouldn’t melt smile. However, I can be quite horrible at times and
have an evil tongue. I don’t mean any of the spiteful words that leave my mouth
(apart from the one’s directed at Ashley Cole) but I can’t stop myself. They
just slip out. Perhaps it’s a coping mechanism. I realise it sounds like a weak
excuse for me being a nasty ‘Wheelchair Boy’ but I do bottle up a lot of
feelings/anxieties regarding my condition.
I just wanted to explain myself and clarify that anything I
say shouldn’t be taken personally. I love everyone that is close to me but I
rarely show it. That’s just me putting on my tough exterior. I am soft at heart
but I never open up (I should probably work on that).
Steve Evans, who I posted about on a few occasions last
year, sadly lost his battle with stomach Cancer on Wednesday 15th
January. He spoke to me once about the importance of family and those around
you. I wholeheartedly agreed because without their support, my life would
simply not be able to go on. Just because I don’t show it, I appreciate what
they do and will always love them.
I just hope that these words are taken on-board by my
nearest and dearest, rather than the meaningless bile that I spit out. Ignore what
I say in the heat of the moment. This blog comes from my heart whereas all the
hate and anger originates from an evil monster in my body named Friedreich’s
Ataxia.
Bye for now!
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